Dear cigarettes,

You were such a huge part of my life for so many years, 14 to be exact. It all started one warm Fall morning, when I started high school. I didn't know anybody at this new school. My first friends introduced me to you, and I suddenly felt like I belonged. We all stood across the street before and after school, huddled around in a group, sharing a lighter and a puff. And at that time, my only concern was that I fit in, I had a group to call my friends. Now it's time to part ways, to say goodbye forever. I don't want you around to hurt me anymore. It's been 4 weeks that we've been apart now, and I've never been happier about a decision I've made. My family is proud of me (hell, I'm proud of me, I never thought I could do this), I can go for walks without feeling winded, my life doesn't revolve around my next fix anymore, I don't have that annoying smoker's cough. And I can literally feel my body healing itself from all the damage you've done. I enjoyed you every step of the way, you were my guilty pleasure...but you don't care and you wreek havoc on one's self. So with that, I bid you farewell and good ridiance. I'm much better without you!!

Moving, again

Steve and I are looking at one more move in our not so distant future. This one will be a big move, the biggest one I've ever made. From Whittier to Riverside. This will mean Reyna has to change schools, and I will have to move to another one of our offices or something (I'm sure my company would let me do that). We have a Temecula and San Bernardino office. I will also have to find somebody else to watch Reyna (I'm sure Anna would love to, it would give Alyssa someone to play with).

Well, Steve just texted me saying there is a house up the street from our friends Andy & Anna's for sale (it has been for some time now), and they just dropped the price to $390k!!! If this is true, we are probably going to jump on it. It's sitting on a couple acres of property, and it's set on a hill. It's georgeos from the outside. Now, this scares the shit out of me. I've been saying for some time now that we'll be moving probably by this summer, but now that it's more of a reality all the changes scare me. I have no doubt that we will live much happier lives out there, but I've been living in the area I'm in now for almost 30 years, my whole life! Steve will be much closer to work too which will save us in gas. Plus, I'm sure our mortgage will be cheaper. We plan on keeping the Whittier house and renting it out. Once we are out there, it's not as easy to just jump in our car and go visit family and friends like we do now. (Maybe that's a good thing, being so far from those nuts ;) hahahaha

I don't know, I guess what I'm trying to say is I really am tired of living here, but I am excited to make the big move. I look forward to the change. I look forward to getting married, and having babies, and having the room for them to play and run around. I look forward to having some chickens and possibly a horse and some more dogs running around. I look forward to getting Reyna away from her loser dad who doesn't pay a dime for her. He'll still see her, but not as often as he does now with his mom watching her.


Oh, I ordered the Tmobile G1 phone today! I'm excited to get it, and get rid of this old school phone I have now.

Smarty pants

Reyna made it to the spelling bee again!! This is her 5th year, and last year she took 3rd place! She's got until next Thursday to study 150 words. Some words I can remember off the top of my head - claustrophobic, fascinating, decathlon, significance, manageable, responsibility.



Reyna is also in Gifted and Talented Education (GATE). This year, starting in March, the kids will be able to take part in an after school program. They will be creating a newspaper, and learning all that's involved in doing so, including meeting deadlines and researching information. She's pretty excited about it.



We just found out there is a dance tomorrow night at her school. A dance for 5th graders!? Hmmm, seems kind of young to me. I asked her if she wants to go, she's not sure. I told her to ask her girlfriends today if they are going, and if she wants to go I'll take her. It's from 6-8.



In other news, we just found out Steve's grandma has lung cancer. I feel really bad for Steve, as he's always been really close to her. She's an awesome lady. They will be starting radiation soon, and hopefully that has some effect on the mass in her lung. They won't be doing chemo, she's not strong enough at almost 80 years old.

Plans for this weekend? MOVING!!

Dreams

I've been having some weird ass dreams lately, and figured I'd look them up online for some insight as to what they really mean. Quite interesting are the results.



#1 - I dreamt that my car was stolen from me.

Meanings: 1) To dream that you are a witness to a theft or a victim of theft, indicates that others are wasting your time and stealing energy and ideas. Perhaps you feel robbed in some way. 2) To dream that you car has been stolen, indicates that you are being stripped of your identity. This may relate to losing your job, a failed relationship, or some situation which has played a significant role in your identity and who you are as a person.


#2 - I got caught masturbating. (This one cracked me up!!)

Meaning: To dream that you are masturbating, represents your unacknowledged and unexpressed sexual needs/desires. It may also indicate you need to take care of yourself in sensual or emotional ways which are not necessarily sexual. You may need to put forth a little more effort toward some relationship.



#3 - Having a phone conversation with someone I know...don't remember what we were talking about though??

Meaning: To dream that you are having a telephone conversation with someone your know, signifies an issue that you need to confront with that person. This issue may have to do with letting go some part of yourself.

I do believe that our dreams give us insight to what we are dealing with in real life. It's just up to us on how much to read into it. I find dreams fascinating, and wish I could remember more of mine.

I've got a case of the Mondays...

I hate them. I seriously wake up on Sunday dreading Monday. Then it gets here and it takes forever to end. I can't get my groove on Mondays...I sit and stare at my screen blankly because that's how my mind feels. I make up every excuse to do anything but work. I've always wished I could work 4 ten hour days and take every Monday off. Not a bad idea. Then I could have the whole day to myself at home, in a quiet house. And I'd probably get more stuff done at home. Ha!!



Anyways, I spent much of my weekend reading Confessions of a Shopoholic. It cracks me up, I can't wait to read her other books. I'm going to make a trip to AZ soon to meet my new nephew Derald. I can't wait, he's almost 2 months old already! Where does the time go?? I need to go shopping too for some baby presents, woohoo!! Any excuse to shop!!



This weekend I'll be moving some stuff out of Long Beach. I've been putting it off every weekend, but alas I must get some of it done because March 1st will be here before we know it. I'm selling my appliances, and I'm having a rather large garage sale in a few weeks.



Other than that, I'm still busy planning a wedding. I really need to make an appointment with the lady at OC Mining Company so we can book it. I need to find a time that is good for both Steve and I, during the week.

I hate moving

I hate moving! I've done it way too many times in my life. Do you know how much stuff I've lost in moves? I don't want to move...again! I mean I do, this time it's a good move, but I don't want to go through the process of packing and unpacking all over again. Oh well, maybe I should look at the positive side of this. Four months ago, I moved out on my own, I established myself, and I learned a lot about who I am and what I want in my life as well as what I don't want. I am now happier than ever, and I'm getting married. If I were rich and I could just buy all new stuff that would make this situation ideal. Actually, a ton of it I don't even want such as houseware stuff. It's funny, that when we moved out, we had nothing. And we scrounged up everything we could to make our home complete. And now that we're moving out, we don't need half of it! Time for a yard sale!

And soon, it will be time to say "Bye bye cozy house...it was so much fun!"



Well, except for the time we found out we had gas leaks and were without hot water for days...or the time we found the biggest cockroach ever in the kitchen! I made some life long memories during those few months, with one of my favorite people in the world, that I will cherish forever.

And now, after all that, I need a drink.

Wedding planning

Ok, this is not new news...I've been engaged since Dec. 4th. However, the more I start planning, the more excited I get. We set a date - June 12, 2010. I think we've chosen a place, we just need to finish our guest list and book it. I've chosen my colors (although I've changed my mind three times, so who knows if it's official yet). We almost have our whole wedding party picked out. That's what we've got done so far. I'm excited to start planning the rest of the stuff!